The New York Yankees Suck Community.'s Journal|
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The New York Yankees Suck Community.'s LiveJournal:
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|Sunday, May 1st, 2005|
|Saturday, April 30th, 2005|
So Gary Sheffield pushes a fan and gets commended for showing restraint, and David Ortiz gets restrained by Toby Hall after being thrown at and gets fined for showing bad behavior.
And still the Yankees and their fans wonder why they are so despised.
Number of rbi's A-Rod had on Tuesday's win against the Angels: 10
Number of wins since then: 0
Number of losses since then: 3
Average Number of runs the Yankees have scored since then: Less than 1
The Yankees win percentage: .391
Number of games out of first place in the AL East they are: 6.5
What couldn't save them: Apparently, the Big Unit's striking good looks.
|Saturday, April 23rd, 2005|
"What's the difference between Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium?" A few years ago, this was a riddle whose answer was a weak "They're still selling hot dogs at Yankee Stadium in October!" Of course, now, thanks to last autumn, we can turn the joke around and use it the other way. But the fun doesn't stop there. My new punchline to the old joke?Fenway Park will still be standing five years from now.
So the other day, Tino fans were treated to that play, which was dubbed a web gem later that night. But honestly, isn't this another one of those half-assed plays that somehow resulted in an out that get way too much media attention? (See: Derek Jeter's "heroics"). I mean come on, Shea Hillenbrand just hit a sky-high pop-up that my grandma could have caught, and three (three
!) Yankees had hours to make the leisurely stroll a few feet away for the catch, yet the Yankees they are, no one calls it and they all just kind of hang out until Tino thinks "oh shit!" and drops the the ground, somehow coming up with the ball. Was this insane? Yes? Should this somehow say Tino is a good player? Hell no.
In other news, we were recently featured in a post in yankeesfans
about why we got banned- and wouldnt you know it, it's by "Imaginary Baseball: My Struggle with the 2003 ALCS" co-autor, gophercheerldr
! Check here
to see hilarious antics of yankee fans trying to understand my deep secrets, and calling my community "satanic territory." Fun Fact for reflaxion
: Both of us are in redsox
|Thursday, April 21st, 2005|
Randy Johnson is terrible.
On a different note, it's nice to know that excessive arguing can get you fined and suspended by the mlb when you're a member of the Red Sox, yet excessive punching of fans gets you called a hero, as long as you're a Yankee. In mlb's own twisted way, it makes sense, doesn't it?
|Wednesday, April 20th, 2005|
Well, it took almost a day, but ESPN has finally admitted that the Yankees are not "AL Champions"
think there's no Yankee bias?
A screenshot of the original is up over at Dirt Dogs
|Saturday, April 16th, 2005|
At the time of this update, only one Major League team has a worse record than the New York Yankees- the forgetable Colorado Rockies. The first few days of the season's stats can be crazy, but you'd assume after 11 or 12 games a team would hit their stride. The Yankees apparently have- a terrible one for the team whose payroll is not only greater than any other team's, but about 91%
of numbers 2 and 3 combined
|Thursday, April 14th, 2005|
What a game. Ejections, arguing, two lead changes, a fan-player skirmish, and the home team winning. Reminds me of October baseball. Now, the ejections were both bullshit. The ump was a pussy with a short fuse, probably extremely insensitive over how bad he was at calling balls and strikes, and so he went on a power rampage against both sides. The last thing Terry Francona nees is another stroke. What was that umpire trying to do ejecting quiet Ron Jackson in the dugout all the way from the plate? Start something? Whatever.
Of course the real story of the night, the one that will be talked about for a very long time, is the fan clocking Gary Sheffield in the face. I already know what's coming: millions of Yankees fans bithcing about how cheap, low, dirty, and unclassy every single Bosotn fan is, based on this one guy. Now, I'm not about to defend the guy. It's extremely unlikely he was going for the baseball. I don't think his intent was a face shot, because if that was what he was trying to do he probably would have flat-out jabbed Sheffield. Maybe this fan will have a statemnt to make later on what was going on. Jerry Remy suggested that maybe he was trying to wave off all the fans reaching down for the ball. I don't buy it. But whatever he was doing, whether he had no malicious intent at all or a vile plan to give Sheffield a shot to the jaw, he hit Sheffield in the face and that's not right.
All that said, and with my position on the matter clearly stated (hitting players is bad
), let's look at how Gary Sheffield handled the whole thing, and what makes him a giant tool. He's fine until he's hit in the face. He picks up the ball, but instead of throwing it back to the infield, he first goes for the fan, putting his own pride and revenge before his service to his team. Whether or not it cost the Yankees a run doesn't matter, as the Red Sox would have won by multiple runs either way, but still, you just don't do that. As a player, you're supposed to be above the fans, as the game is their hobby but your proffession. Then, after throwing the ball back in, Gary goes back in for a swipe. Once is enough, you know? Had Gary gotten the ball back in as quickly as possible, and then taken a swipe or even two at the fan, that would have been completely different than swiping before throwing, then throwing, then coming back for some more swings.
Sheffield's a prick anyway. He's given death threats to opposing pitchers, has slammed teammates up against lockers in the clubhouse out of blind rage in years past, and has been involved with steroids. Had this been Hideki Matsui or Bernie Williams who were hit, I would have really felt bad. I even feel bad for Gary, but not totally, because I mean, he's a pretty big ass himself. Just the way he handled it all shows that much.
Still, even if New Yorkers want to make this fan out to be the Antichrist, they will only be asking to be laughed at if they try to project his image onto all Boston fans. Let's acknowlege some simple statistics comparing this incident to the post-bitch-slap misconduct by New York fans during Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS:
Fans at Fenway Park today: almost 35,000
Fans misbehaving at Fenway Park today: 1 (punching Sheffield)
Fans at Yankee Stadium then: almost 55,000
Fans misbehaving at Yankee Stadium then: a hundred or two (throwing shit onto the field) but with the benefit of the doubt, and to make math easy, we'll just say 55 (even though there were way more than 55 pieces of trash, balls, cups, etc. raining down that night)
So we have 1/35,000 of Sox fans acting up, and 55/55,000 or 1/1,000 Yankees fans acting up. That makes Yankees fans, on average, 35 times as unruly as Sox fans. If we use my estimated number of Yankees fans out of control that day (100-200) we're looking at 70 to 140 times as unruly.
So Yankees fans can pretend all they want that all Sox fans are despicable outfielder-punchers, but it's not going to change the actual facts. The more they try to pin Bostonians for being crazy, drunk, and out of control, the more their just trying to make up for their own embarrassing display of immaturity.
Please note that despite swinging at a fan, Gary Sheffield will not be suspended for a single game, and such a thought will never even be suggested by anyone in the media. Such are the privileges of being a Yankee. Fuck New York.
|Monday, April 11th, 2005|
So if Mariano ever gets sick of being booed by the self-proclaimed "classy" fans of New York, it seems he can always be accepted with loud cheers and open arms at Fenway Park. Call the applause mocking or sarcastic, but it still warranted a cap tip and a wave to the crowd from Rivera, which is more than he's given Yankee Stadium this year. Torre also was cheered loudly, in no way jokingly at all. They don't call it Friendly Fenway for nothing. Also, the riot police were not present on the field, as they did not need to be. But maybe that's because Boston is a nice peaceful city, an ideal location for a ballpark, unlike the crime-ridden drug-infested Bronx, the anus of American culture.
|Sunday, April 10th, 2005|
|Saturday, April 9th, 2005|
Well, he had his share of doubters, but good old Mo has officially reproved himself as the best closer in baseball. Never mind his 33% save percentage this season. Never mind being 0 for his last 4 against the Red Sox. He can close the deal for a $200 million dollar team over a $100 million team, which makes him a Hall of Fame lock. Besides, at .333, he's saving more efficiently than the Red Sox are hitting, so take that.
God bless Mariano, and God bless the Yankees, America's team, the heros of our time.
|Thursday, April 7th, 2005|
Boston is the most racist city on the planet, or so Yankee fans would have you believe. Sure, Boston was the last team to integrate black players- in fucking 1959. Seriously, is there any evidence this side of the civil rights movement that Red Sox fans are somehow more racist than any other baseball fans?
In this previous post
, an anonymous yankee fan offered up this nugget, which was apparently in some Red Sox fan's away message:Hideki Matsui, what's your story?
It's a night game, why are you squinting?
First off, I gotta ask- who the fuck cares? No seriously, who gives a shit that this guy made a joke at a professional player's expense? If there is a Yankee fan who can say that they have never ever made a remark that could be construed as racist, that they have never used a racial slur, even out of context, I'd like them to leave a comment. Wait no, I'd like them to shut the hell up cause they're fucking liars. Everyone's a little bit racist.
I find the fact that Boston fans are considered huge bigots incredibly hilarious, especially when on that same page
it was revealed to the readers that I share the username with another kid, our resident yankee fan x___p0pr0xnc0ke immediately unleashed the gay jokes (which we predicted, on the same page also):
"How fucking sad. I guess you give it up each other's ass when the Yankees lose right? So, which one of you role plays as Jeter?"
How about that incident with Barry Bonds*, calling the entire city of Boston racist? Somehow I doubt that an entire city would hate a man for being black. Perhaps there are other reasons why people would hate Barry Bonds*. Let's see, he is allegedly on the roids, he's moody as all fuck, he does not respect his teammates, and he could set the home run record within a year or two. Come to think of it, maybe the city of Boston doesn't just hate him because he's black!
So far all of this has applied to attitude- Are some Red Sox fans racist? Sure, and so are some Yankee fans. But people don't get arrested for not liking people different from them, they get arrested for commiting a little thing that we call hate crimes
. Let's take a look at some statistics
, shall we?
from the FBI's Hate Crime Statistics of 1995:
Number of Hate Crimes per Agency Submitting in Massachusetts: 3.78
Number of Hate Crimes per Agency Submitting in New York: 16.9
So Yankee fans can say what they want about Boston, but apparently their own "non-racist" city is about 347% more hateful than Boston.
|Wednesday, April 6th, 2005|
What a day for the Yankees! With our fans confidently making statements like "162-0" and "un-de-feat-ed!" we headed into the Stadium of the Greatest Fans in the World:
to make our inevitable sweep against those dastardly Red Sox. It was all going great until the 9th inning, when The Greatest Closer EVER took the mound, ensuring a Red Sox loss. What a shame, instead of pitching a scoreless inning, the Red sox scored 4 runs off him. What a loser!
Yeah, that makes 4 blown saves against the Sox in a row by The Greatest Closer EVER, so what do The Greatest Fans In The World do to cheer him up? We boo, we boo like we've never booed before (even though we have booed before, such as our own Derek Jeter, and David Wells because he became a Red Sock! It's not like the Red Sox fans cheered Clemens when he was a Yankee. Oh wait...). That's just the way things go here in New York, if you have some bad outings, we'll go against all those times we talked about how much we loved you, it's time to cut the fat!
In other news, I was talking to a long-time Yankees fan about which team has the advantage at different positions. The true controversy arrived at third base, as I tried to explain to him that Bill Mueller had the "intangibles that only come from a player who has won a world series," but he would have nothing to do with that, insisting that Alex Rodriguez had the "greatest season a third baseman has ever had." Let's take a look at how he stacks up offensively against Baltimore's Melvin Mora and LA's Adrian Beltre- stats can be found here
Home Runs- 2nd
Total Bases- 3rd
On-Base %- 3rd
I think Mariano has some competition for most overrated Yankee.
|Tuesday, April 5th, 2005|
Those Yankees, it's incredible what a team can accomplish! Undefeated with a mere 98.7654321% of the season left! Did somebody say 162-0? Cause I think I just did!
And way to go Rivera, once again proving a) that you are not the greatest closer ever as you'd like to think, b) you can't pitch against the Red Sox, and c) there is no justice in the win-loss column.
|Monday, April 4th, 2005|
Wow, there's nothing quite like a blowout. Remember last August....
Those ca-razy Yankees!
PS. Make sure that you IM a sox fan to make fun of him because he likes a team that's different from yours with chants of "undefeated." What a feat it is to win one of 162 games!
|Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005|
No caption does this picture justice.
|Wednesday, February 16th, 2005|
just figured i should post this: no, i haven't forgotten about my precious yankee-bashing community, i'm just waiting for the season to start before i get back to business.
it would be almost too easy to make fun of the yankees over the offseason anyway- rj attacking a cameraman, arod making fun of trot's abilities as a father, Mr. Juice himself, the fact that the yankees technically did not win the 2003 alcs, trying to get PEDRO (that's when you know your team is desperate).
Just wait for the season opener
|Friday, November 26th, 2004|
The Yankees were failures this year.